I was 26 when I ran out of hope. Sad, lonely, and at the point of wanting to leave this world, I had to make a choice between suicide and God. I was a single mum (by choice), and I didn't trust anyone to take care of my daughter, or to love her as I did, if I were to suicide, and there was no way I was taking her with me. So, God was my last option.
I'll share more of my testimony another time, but, for now, I'll just say: Two days after I cried out to Jesus, asking God to forgive me for all my sins and for Him to forgive all who had sinned against me, I ran into the only Christian I knew, in a dead-end lane, which ran along the back of the property I attended Sunday school 20 years earlier, in an answer to my prayers. (I was walking by the property; I was not attending any function there.)
Long story short: In the darkest period of my life, the Light of the world [Jesus] rescued me.
Over 25 years later, Jesus is still my hope. Without Him, I'd slip back to that place of longing for death. Yes, I am married, have children, and am presently stepping out into my dream of being a published author, but while the thought of breaking the hearts of my children may keep me away from the edge of suicide, my hope is in Him, and Him alone.
Whether you think me weak or a religious fool or not, is not an issue. The issue is, without Jesus I would not want to be in this world. He keeps me going. He keeps me alive. He gives me purpose, love, a sense of worth and self-acceptance, healing, courage, and hope, as no one or nothing else has.
So, if you see me walking away from person, circumstance, or issue, and towards Him, know that it's nothing personal. I need Him.
~ for the reader ~
Ted Dekker is a New York Times best-selling author, with over 35 novels,
best known for suspense thrillers.
~ for the writer ~
"J.K. Rowling's rejection letters give hope to the writer in us all."
by Tim Chester
~ for the soul ~
New International Version - UK (NIVUK)
Peace and hope
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.
3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.
5 And hope does not put us to shame,
because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,
who has been given to us.
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless,
Christ died for the ungodly.
7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person,
though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.
8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 Since we have now been justified by his blood,
how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!
10 For if, while we were God’s enemies,
we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son,
how much more, having been reconciled,
shall we be saved through his life!
11 Not only is this so,
but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
through whom we have now received reconciliation.
~ from my home and heart to yours ~